Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Time has been flying by, as usual.  I blinked and a week went by since my last post.

School started yesterday, which marked the official end to my almost-ten-month maternity leave.  I know.  That's a really long time.  I was really really lucky.  I am really really lucky.

Even though that I'm technically "back to school/work", I still don't have to be physically away from Eliza for many hours a week.  Yesterday I was gone about 3 hours.  My parents watched her and, even though she wouldn't take an afternoon nap for them, she did great.  She was happy as can be and didn't even notice I was gone.  Tomorrow I'll be at school for about 6 hours.  This will officially be the longest I've ever been away from her.  Again, I know, I shouldn't complain, right?  That's nothing compared to some moms.  But still, it's all relative and for me it's going to be hard.  But I know I will get used to it, and so will she.

I'm sad to be back in some ways -- and it's not just because I have to be physically away from her -- my mind is also elsewhere now... thinking, worrying, planning, etc.  Focusing on classes, writing papers, teaching, managing the course website... my mind is always 'on' now and I'm constantly thinking of things I need to do.  It's a little different than what I've been used to.  But, again, I know I will get used to it.

Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.  Even though it's challenging, there are many benefits to having  a baby in grad school (never thought you'd hear that, I bet)  My schedule is great, and I've been able to spend almost ten whole months focused on my daughter without worrying about losing my job.

My mom says she is who she is because of me; she is a happy, contented baby and that it's because of me and the time we've spent together.  I hope so.  I hope this time we've had together has shaped her for the better.  It has been wonderful to be able to be there for her 24/7 - to allow her to nurse on-demand, to nap with her, to lay on the floor and play with her all morning, to take her to play dates, out to lunch, to see friends, go shopping... she's been my constant companion.  She will still be my nearly-constant companion, but still... I'm going to miss having her around all day every day!

We will all adjust to the new way of things, and then, we will adjust again when the next set of changes comes along down the road.  That's part of life, and although I will be the first to admit that it's not my favorite part of life -- I never have been a fan of change -- it's a whole lot easier when I have such a wonderful, happy, beautiful, smart baby and a loving husband by my side.


Alyssa said...

Aw...I can see how it would be hard, but good at the same time. I'm sure you'll find a new normal soon.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I've heard many academics say the best time to have children is in grad school, since your schedule is fairly flexible and you don't have to worry about losing your job.

Kim D. said...

Good luck this semester! Let me know if you needy anything. Even if it's a swift kick in the butt to get you finish a paper or something. I'm gonna make sure your Dr. Mom before that well-adjusted, resiliant baby of yours is in school.

Ruby said...

Good luck with the new changes! Glad it is going so smoothly so far. I'm also not a huge fan of change but they come and go all the time right? A healthy positive attitude is what counts the most and your sweet baby girl is already getting that benefit of a happy, positive mom!

Summer said...

Good Luck tomorrow Ella! I do understand what you mean about having a constant companion. I feel the same way and I love it!

That's great that you know she is in good hands and that she is so used to spending time with your parents.

Jessie said...

Your mom is totally right: she is who she is because of you! And she's awesome. So awesome she'll be okay without you a few hours a day so you get to have this whole other role. Good luck to you both!

Ash said...

Good luck this semester! I am sure things will just keep getting more normal, and that everyone will do well with this new transition!

Eliza's Stats

Birth: 8 lbs 5 ozs
Going home: 7 lbs 10 ozs
5 days: 7 lbs 13 ozs
2 months: 12 lbs 6 ozs
4 months: 17 lbs
5 months: 18 lbs 12 ozs
6 months: 20 lbs 13 ozs
9 months: 24 lbs 3 ozs
12 months: 26 lbs 13 ozs
15 months: 28 lbs
18 months: 29 lbs 3 ozs
2 years: 32 lbs
3 years: 34 lbs

Alice's Stats

Birth: 8 lbs 11 oz
2 Months: 13 lbs 10 oz
4 Months: 17 lbs 15 oz
6 Months: 20 lbs 4 oz