Thanks to all of you who have commented on my posts lately, I've really felt the love! Getting comments is such a great part of blogging. They're like little virtual hugs.
I don't know exactly what I'll do yet in terms of blogging... start another or keep this one and expand it. But I'm touched to hear that you lovely people out there are interested in reading about my girl. Warms my heart!
Thursday went fine, by the way. It was hard to be away from my babe for that long, but of course I knew it would be. Pumping at school was no problem (though it was slightly weird that my officemate didn't leave while I pumped! Oh well, she's a female and seemed cool with it - so I guess to that I should say: way to be!). I managed to focus during class, and was, quite honestly, better able to act like an adult and string coherent, somewhat intelligent sentences together than I thought I would. Although, every so often I did get flashes of feeling like a huge phony: What am I doing here? I'm a mom, not an academic! They can all see it, I'm a big faker - I should be at a playdate or nursing or singing goofy songs, not talking about research methods!
But, it passed.
And then I got home and saw my girl's huge smile; that was the best feeling in the world. My little stinker had a good day, too, even though she REFUSED to nap or take a bottle (!!!). Yeah, apparently she just wanted to playplayplay and gogogo all day long with Grandma and Grandpa. No time to drink milk or sleep. But she was tired by the end of the day, because as soon as she nursed when I got home, she conked right out.
One week down, 14 weeks to go until winter break!
3 comments:
Hi Ella! Good to hear your workday went well! I head back to work on Monday and I am kind of excited for I really do enjoy what I do and miss my work friends. I feel comfortable with our home daycare and my husband and Dad take her the other days of the week. I know I will miss her like crazy that first day but to see her smile at me when I come home from work is worth everything in the world! I am also counting down the days to our winter break as well! Wishing you a wonderful day!!
Favorite quote: "I did get flashes of feeling like a huge phony: What am I doing here?" I think a lot of grad students feel that way, especially when trying to integrate their "outside of school" roles with their academic one. "I'm a (minority, girl, 20-something year old, part-time rock star), not an academic! They can all see it, I'm a big faker" But I'm pretty sure all of your "other selves" are the exact reason why you're such a brilliant student.
I am glad your day went well!
I agree with Kim - we all find ways to think we don't belong. The impostor syndrome gets to all of us :)
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